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October 7, 2008

It Was A Dark And Scary Night....

Insane Mama is having a Halloween contest! Write about Halloween, link back to her, and win fabulous prizes!

The following is a true story and not to be confused with an overly stimulated imagination.


It was October of '77. I was 19 and dumb as a box of rocks naive. My sister who wasn't much smarter had married, had a baby, divorced and moved back to Ohio. She needed a room mate.
I was elected, having cheated on the "move out on your eighteenth birthday" rule.
We moved into the top half of an old o.l.d. circa 1910 house in an old neighborhood. The lower floor was occupied by a nut job kooky lady named Bonnie & her three little kids.

There was only one entry door to the house. Come inside and go straight, run into Bonnie's apartment door. Take a right and pound up the 28 wooden stairs, there's our apartment door.

Sister K liked to have a bit of a social life. When I'd come home from my social life, she'd go out, leaving me with her one-year-old. He was a good sleeper and he didn't seem to mind the arrangement. I was a good sleeper too and rarely knew when she was sneaking out leaving if I'd already gone to bed.
Well. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was back in the theatre to celebrate Halloween. I'd never seen a scary movie before. Boyfriend took me. It was v.e.r.y. s.c.a.r.y.
Boyfriend took me home. I made him check the tiny apartment. Twice.
Sister K didn't seem to be there.
Nobody was there.
Just me. After midnight. Time for the ghosties and goblins to roam.
I went to bed and literally hid under the covers. And eventually fell asleep against my better judgement.
Know what a chainsaw sounds like? VaROMMM VaROMMMMM VAROMMMMMMM
I woke up to that noise.
It was loud and getting louder. And closer.
I was scared shitless.
then....
IT WAS BANGING ON THE DOOR DOWNSTAIRS.
VaROMMM VaROMMMMM VAROMMMMMM
I.was.going.to.die.a.virgin.
I'm pretty sure I was still a virgin then but I digress.
I gathered up all the blankets off of my bed and ran for the living room. It was the longest and scariest ten-foot run in my pitifully short life.
I hid between the couch and the wall, covered with blankets, pretending I was a load of laundry. I prayed that the chainsaw-wielding beast downstairs would have no interest in laundry.
What seemed like an eternity later ~ it was more like 3 minutes ~ I heard K thumping up the stairs with the baby. Creeeeaaak goes the key in the lock.

"K-k-k-k-k-k-k? Is that you?" I managed to squeak.
"What are you doing?" It WAS her.
Whew.
"Texas.Chainsaw.Massacre.I.Heard.The.Chainsaw.At.The.Door.Very.Very.Scary."
she scared the Chainsaw Guy away, was my logic. But he might come back.......
"Bwaaa-hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Bonnie was vaccuuming the foyer!!!!!! Bwa-hahahahahaaaah!" K was laughing so hard she could hardly get the words out. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. She's cleaning house at 2 AM?

I have yet to live it down.

7 comments:

Insane Mama said...

I would have flipped out! Thanks for participating, I have you down for three entries

binks said...

I have a very similar story but I was 17, lived alone and it involved "The Exorcist". To this day, many years later, I still can't even look at anything related to that movie without freaking out.

Tiffany said...

LOL I bet you never heard the end of it. Stupid crazy woman jacked you all up. LOL

Mamasphere said...

And THAT is why I can't watch scary movies!

angela | the painted house said...

Don't you just love how our imaginations betray us sometimes? Glad you survived--but just barely! I've heard one too many stories of how people have met their doom with a vacuum...okay not really. :)

StitchinByTheLake said...

This story was just hilarious. You should so win this! blessings, marlene

nikkicrumpet said...

Very funny story....but I would have been imitating laundry myself. My first scary movie was the first Halloween. It took me months to stop hearing that breathing!!! I HATE SCARY MOVIES!