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November 5, 2008

Advice From Dr. Gin and Dr Tonic


Subject: Health Alert for Women
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask yourbartender doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Margaritas.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Attraction to the same sex
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNING:The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING:The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
WARNING:The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING :The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.
PLEASE NOTE: Extensive research reveals that Appletinis, Cosmopolitans, and Long Island Iced Tea are as effective if not better than Margaritas.
thanks to Big Sis K for the health alert today!

16 comments:

jill jill bo bill said...

I am a Margarita survivor!!!! The race for the cure starts this Fri at 5 and ends sun morning.

georgie said...

I am so glad we have you to keep us all in good health

Soxy Deb said...

I've already got my luminaries lined up ready for the event to begin Jill!!
J'Ollie - you gonna be there? It's an all weekend long race and not for the weak of heart.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

We should line up the luminaries around the couch. Or the bar.

The Mom said...

I can't do tequila, can mine be a Cosmo?

Blarney said...

I gotta stay away from the salt so I'll be having Sangria but so in the mood to celebrate!

scargosun said...

This is excellent information. I might have to give it a try.

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

That's a great post! I love the cartoon at the beginning!

Angie
"Nana's Box"

Mamasphere said...

I'm not pregnant yet (we're trying), so I guess it's the missing margaritas. I'd better go get all the fixings!

The Boss Lady said...

It's like you recorded me drinking and put it on a blog...weird! Thanks for visiting me the other day...I'll be sure to swing by often. :) Toodles!

Leigh said...

OMG I loved this. And now know exactly why I sing karaokee alot...even when I say, "ILl never do that again" and then do. Now I know....

Eudea-Mamia said...

Emmmmmmm - margaritas.

Darn that school pick up policy of being sober!

Em

Jess said...

I think I need a Margarita

Little O' Me said...

I'll gladly have a margarita!!!

Snooty Primadona said...

Hilarious! Who needs doctors anyway? I'll take Retail Therapy & Margaritas anyday.

bfs said...

Cute post and weirdly true!

Saddest thing though is having worked with teen girls who didn't know the health facts....