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November 4, 2008

Oh No It's A Tissue Post

Mom died eight years ago. It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever.
She was no saint, although her kids like to put her on a pedestal.
She loved us enough to allow us to make our own mistakes, and fix them ourselves.
She loved to laugh and eat ice cream. Simultaneously if possible.
She had a steel backbone and a gold heart.
She knitted mittens and hats for her chemo nurses.
She was a horrible housekeeper who loved to have friends visit.
The closest she ever came to saying "I love you" was "I appreciate you."
We knew it anyway.




A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
enough
money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
something
perfect to wear if the employer
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a past juicy
enough
that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill
and a black lace bra....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who
always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a good piece
of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
eight
matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for
a meal
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a feeling of
control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
how to quit
a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without
ruining the frindship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
when to try harder
and when to walk away...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she
would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to
go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a
charming Inn in the woods.... when her soul needs
soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a
month...and a year...

Maya Angelou


*"Another thing. If you're missing me I want you to know I'm not missing you.Gone is gone.I never miss anyone or anything because it all becomes a lovely memory. I guard my memories and love them, but I don't get in them and lie down."
Ole Golly Waldenstein*

*from Louise Fitzhugh's "Harriet the Spy"

Mom is having a great time romping around in Heaven with my dad. Every time she'd see a penny on the ground she'd say "Pennies from Heaven!" There's one penny that's been in my driveway for the past eight years. It moves around, but I usually see it somewhere near my car. I like to think it's her way of saying Hi every once in awhile. Hi, Mom!

11 comments:

Kori said...

I really love that piece by Maya Angelou; a friend of mine gave it to me one time when life was sucking pretty hard. This is a great post, too, and a wonderful tribute to an obviously loved woman.

Soxy Deb said...

J'Ollie that was the sweetest, truest and most honest thing I have read in a long time. The Maya Angelou piece was great.
My mom is still here, it sounds like they both had things in common.
{{HUGS}}

Queen-Size funny bone said...

That was straight from the heart and thanks for sharing. sniffle sniffle...

lifeinredshoes said...

You're Mom was a REAL Mother, despite her flaws, and we all have them. Keep track of that penny, Red Shoes

Jenni Jiggety said...

Beautiful post!

Blarney said...

I planted my Mom's favorite flower before she passed. She was lucky enough to see them bloom in person. No when they bloom I know she sees them and enjoys them as much as when she was here.

jill jill bo bill said...

Love that! Thank you so much for making me cry. And Btw, I am so impressed you are mentioned like a million time in the Nester's posts. And another BTW, I love you. You are awesome. Your mom did good. Hugs!!!

Jess said...

This is a really great tribute to your mom!

Little O' Me said...

This was beautiful!!!

The penny part gave me chills!!!

Susie Q said...

Her greatest legacy is found in you, in her family. I thinkl she raised a pretty gosh darned great woman. She had to be wonderful.
Bless her and I hope she is having a super time in Heaven...I know my Dad is.

Love,
Sue

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