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October 8, 2008

Think Pink

So many of us have been touched by the dreaded C-word. So many of us have become warriors in the battle to eradicate it.

My new bloggy friend at Nana's Box is sponsoring a series of giveaways in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

"Nana’s Box is a nonprofit service committed to providing a photo box to cancer patients who are undergoing treatment. Nana's Box offers this service to the individual patient with the help and support of families, and those volunteers interested in the emotional support of cancer patients."
If you've never sat through chemo, radiation, or the endless rounds of medical appointments associated with cancer, remember those that have. It's tough. Having a tangible link to family and friends can be a real life-saver in more ways than one. A photo box gives patients undergoing treatment something to focus on other than the reason they're sitting in the waiting room, the chemo room, or the lab.
You can go to her site here to make a donation, or to enter the giveaway. There are two count 'em TWO giveaways each month through January. There are tons of fabulous prizes, and all that is requested is a comment and a link to Nana's Box. A donation would be greatly appreciated too.

J'Ollie Primitives is donating a 24-inch Barn Star to Nana's cause. You get to choose any color, and yes, we can custom paint a pink barn star just for you.

JillJillBoBill has donated her boobs. She is such a giving person. She demonstrates How To Do A Breast Exam With Your Shirt On here. And yes, she will work for shoes.
Feel yourself up. Check the ladies every month. If you haven't had your mammogram lately, get it done. If your health insurance is limited or non existent, contact your local Community Resource Center to get information on free or reduced-charge mammograms. Having your boobs squished in a waffle iron is well worth knowing that you won't need to go through the torment of treatment for breast cancer.
think pink!

October 7, 2008

It Was A Dark And Scary Night....

Insane Mama is having a Halloween contest! Write about Halloween, link back to her, and win fabulous prizes!

The following is a true story and not to be confused with an overly stimulated imagination.

It was October of '77. I was 19 and dumb as a box of rocks naive. My sister who wasn't much smarter had married, had a baby, divorced and moved back to Ohio. She needed a room mate.
I was elected, having cheated on the "move out on your eighteenth birthday" rule.
We moved into the top half of an old o.l.d. circa 1910 house in an old neighborhood. The lower floor was occupied by a nut job kooky lady named Bonnie & her three little kids.

There was only one entry door to the house. Come inside and go straight, run into Bonnie's apartment door. Take a right and pound up the 28 wooden stairs, there's our apartment door.

Sister K liked to have a bit of a social life. When I'd come home from my social life, she'd go out, leaving me with her one-year-old. He was a good sleeper and he didn't seem to mind the arrangement. I was a good sleeper too and rarely knew when she was sneaking out leaving if I'd already gone to bed.
Well. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was back in the theatre to celebrate Halloween. I'd never seen a scary movie before. Boyfriend took me. It was v.e.r.y. s.c.a.r.y.
Boyfriend took me home. I made him check the tiny apartment. Twice.
Sister K didn't seem to be there.
Nobody was there.
Just me. After midnight. Time for the ghosties and goblins to roam.
I went to bed and literally hid under the covers. And eventually fell asleep against my better judgement.
Know what a chainsaw sounds like? VaROMMM VaROMMMMM VAROMMMMMMM
I woke up to that noise.
It was loud and getting louder. And closer.
I was scared shitless.
I'm pretty sure I was still a virgin then but I digress.
I gathered up all the blankets off of my bed and ran for the living room. It was the longest and scariest ten-foot run in my pitifully short life.
I hid between the couch and the wall, covered with blankets, pretending I was a load of laundry. I prayed that the chainsaw-wielding beast downstairs would have no interest in laundry.
What seemed like an eternity later ~ it was more like 3 minutes ~ I heard K thumping up the stairs with the baby. Creeeeaaak goes the key in the lock.

"K-k-k-k-k-k-k? Is that you?" I managed to squeak.
"What are you doing?" It WAS her.
she scared the Chainsaw Guy away, was my logic. But he might come back.......
"Bwaaa-hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Bonnie was vaccuuming the foyer!!!!!! Bwa-hahahahahaaaah!" K was laughing so hard she could hardly get the words out. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. She's cleaning house at 2 AM?

I have yet to live it down.

October 5, 2008

Leaking, Spewing, and Random Stuff

hee hee NASCAR DAY......we'll see if any actual work is accomplished by Mr Sweetie. He's recording the WHOLE DAY so I can pester him to get things done and he can watch it later.

Loving this weather, it's so nice & crisp & cool....I'm going to have to devote some serious weeding time to the gardens out back so I can put them to bed. they.are.a.mess. Have been wanting to power wash the house too, because it is a dirtydirty house....I bought a teeny tiny (cheap) power washer several many years ago and it does do a great job, however it must be USED in order to be effective.....

Leaky List ~New Leak: the toilet in the bathroom right across from "the office" has a broken wax ring so it can't be used till "we" fix it. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a puddle around the base and thought that Mr Sweetie was not aiming well when he got up to go in the middle of the night. I eventually got around to cleaning the bathroom and when I flushed the magic toilet cleaning stuff saw that there was a leak at the base.....so Mr Sweetie is not to blame. Problem is now if/when I have eleventy-two cups of coffee each and every morning I have to run through the house to the little bathroom which is far far away when you have to pee..... I'm hoping that "we" can fix the leaky toilet on our own. Last year the water main or whatever the big pipe under the house is called sprang a major leak and had to be replaced. Eight-plus hours of labor, a new trap door to access the pipe, new parts, and a bill that I'm still paying off. Major emergency credit card expenditure. Crap. We could have spent a week in Cape Cod for the amount of money that leak cost.

Old Leaker: Clementine has been using the floor register right.next.to.her.cat.box. to pee in. Apparently it's just too much bother to hoist her arthritic little booty over the lip of the cat box unless she has to poop. How did I make this discovery? By turning on the furnace one night before bedtime and coming out to the Cat Box Room/family room to the scent of Eau de Peau the next morning. The ductwork has been scrubbed, sprayed with anti-Eau de Peau and still there is a lingering peau factor....I'm hoping it's just my imagination. Peau.

Silly Leaker: Sprout came into the painting room the other day, his favorite place to nest ~ in my mile high fabric stash ~ not allowed. I whacked his backside with a paint stick to shoo him out of there and did not realize until after whacking him that I had just USED the stick to (duh) stir paint with....by the time I tracked him down he had licked the paint off of his backside and was spewing yellow foam. He got a face wash and a butt wash to get the paint off, then I had to follow the trails of paint and wash them off the floor....peau. Reminded me of Wild Bill. For some reason he liked toothpaste. When she was brushing her teeth CA would feed him a little toothpaste and he'd foam at the mouth. Very amusing. I can't say that it ever did anything for his stinky cat breath.

She Denies Any Knowledge of Leaking: CA called me the other day and asked me if a back ache would indicate a kidney infection. She said "just Google it or go to WebMD MOOOoooOOOOmmm" when I asked her if she had this or that symptom....because I'm Doctor Nurse and I KNOW these things. So I read off all of the WebMD symptoms to her. Which I coulda done without actually looking them up because I'm SUCH a know-it-all.She would neither admit or deny having any such symptom, just said that her back hurt. She called later to say that she was at work when she called earlier and that she couldn't really go into detail because there were PEOPLE there that were listening to her conversation. Then she went into detail. Which I could have done without. TMI.

End of Leaky List. I hope.

Mom used to give us a little tinkly bell when we were sick and on the couch. We could ring the bell instead of yelling "MOOOoooOOOOmmm" so she could tell that the Sick Child was in dire need of something and that it wasn't one of the Healthy Children yelling. Sick Children were responded to. Healthy Children were not. If you were healthy enough to yell you were not sick enough to lie around. When CA was little I gave her the same bell to ring when she was sick. When she was officially sick enough (with the TMI UTI) to lie on her own couch in her own apartment she called to say "I wish I had a bell." There will be a bell in the mail tomorrow. God knows who's going to answer it since she is officially a BigGirl and living on her own. But a bell is a start. Maybe she can train Mr. Wii to answer it. (Her current BF) He has a Wii. Or I thought he did. Apparently he had borrowed it from somebody else. But she still kicks Wii Bowling butt. And he's keeping the name because I like it. OK, it's noon and I really must get to WORK. Business is still slow. Not good. Enough said about that for one day.

P.S. It's long past noon, and I still haven't been able to talk my handsome assistant into posting pictures of the Leakies. This will have to do. I'll wrestle the camera to the ground / figure out the techie stuff this week. Promise.


That's 700 billion. Oops. Thanks for not noticing. Or denouncing me for a complete financial idiot if you did notice.

If it was in my checkbook I mighta caught it. Especially when that last $230,000,000 check bounced.

Back to our regularly scheduled very occasional hopefully funny posting.