Retail Therapy II ~ Thank You, I Feel Much Better Now

Awesome. Totally Awesome.


Precious Daughter should be writing this post just to tell you how much she rocks but she had to high-tail it back to College Town for a date with Mr. Wii and the Wii Parental Units.


I didn't know Mr. Wii's Christian name for several weeks. All I heard was "I'm going to go kick butt playing Wii Bowling with this guy."


Mr. Wii rocks, even though she did kick his butt with her Wii bowling skills.


Anyway, PD is a shopping barracuda.


We went here:






She parlayed a returned tote bag into a pile of Coach booty.



An umbrella for her, a little wristlet purse for ummm her, and the rare and elusive Legacy Leigh, which legend has it retails for mucho mucho dinero, if you can find one.



They are so rare and elusive I can't find a picture of one without stealing it from eBay.




the pictures weren't good so I didn't steal any That would be wrong.

Because I begged and pleaded and cried I'm such a good mom she bought me a red
tote bag. The total? $17.00. Her returned tote bag had been a gift so that didn't count. We were just so full of ourselves delighted that we just had to go the the Gap, where she tried on and discarded sixty-eight outfits in five minutes while I stood empty-handed in the long check-out line, piled twenty-two outfits into my arms and tried on a few more things while I shuffled along the checkout dead zone, appearing only to whip out her debit card as I fell across reached the magic cash register.

Bag stuffed with Gap Goodies: under a hundred bucks. Way under.
Watching PD using her debit card instead of pickpocketing mine? Priceless!

Two dresses and a belt, a quick tour of the chocolate store where we did.not.buy.any.chocolate ~ it wasn't on sale and we wanted stuff on sale ~ a whirlwind tour of
Eddie Bauer, where I scored my own bag o' goodies for Christmas gifties at 70% off, thank you, and we were done.

I thought.

The diamond store. Ack. Twenty minutes, a credit card application for the extra 10% off and PD has bought herself a pair of twinkly rings.

Wait a minute.

I thought college kids lived on Ramen Noodles and that boys bought girls diamonds.

Not this chickie. She's working two jobs and sometimes three, she's a full-time student paying her own way and maintaining a decent grade point average. She has an awesome boyfriend who is under no obligation to supply her with twinklies.

She's not all about the material stuff, even if she is a shop-a-holic. She's a great kid turning into a real live grown-up.

Wer'e going to have to talk about her starting a retirement account.

For her mom.

Survivor

I've been reading a lot of mommy blogs lately. Love the mommy blogs. Love the pics of the wee ones discovering the world around them.

This is dedicated to the mommies (and daddies too, I know you're there).

YOU WILL SURVIVE.

You will survive walking your child to their first day of kindergarten and leaving them with the crossing guard because they are NOT a baby and DO NOT want you to go IN with them.

You will survive when they change their mind halfway across the street and come back to have you escort them in to kindergarten. You will not cry, either.

You will not freak out when they come home from first grade with half their face torn off. You will calmly ask "what happened?" You will not laugh hysterically when you are told that Bobby was ignoring your precious child, so Precious Child grabbed Bobby's backpack strap and Bobby ran away. Wearing his backpack. With Precious Child firmly attached to backpack and leaving half of her face embedded in the asphalt. They're just skid marks.

You will agree that a bright orange jaquard print tee shirt, screaming purple skirt and red cowgirl boots do indeed make a stunning fashion statement on Picture Day.

You will survive being named Psycho Mom of the Year. You know very well that you are Psycho Mom because you are insane enough NOT to allow your 14 year old to get in a car with a TeenageDriver.

You will survive a phone call from the Emergency Room saying that your 14 year old daughter has been in a car accident. A TeenageDriver was at the wheel, somebody said something witty like "I've gotta fart", lost control of the car and drove Through A House.

You will NOT laugh hysterically when you arrive at the Emergency Room to see your child lying on a stretcher with a neck brace so large that it would've been a tad loose for the Incredible Hulk. (everybody lived to walk out of the ER unharmed. Any later harm would be a direct result of Parental Violence.)

You will survive and excel at terrorizing and intimidating both potential and official boyfriends. Having the advantage of being a few inches short of five feet tall and having perfected The Look will ensure that all boys will be on Auto-Scared the minute they pull in the driveway and HONK THE HORN for your Precious Child.

You will develop and perfect methods of dealing with Psycho Drama from your Precious Child, who by 15 is considerably taller than you. That's why God gave his children ears. Ears are not for listening. Ears are handles. Pull on the handle. The Precious Child will sit down on the floor and will LISTEN to you with the remaining ear. Do not relinquish your grasp on the handle until you are done speaking.

You will survive teaching your Precious Child how to drive, preferably in a car you no longer have any sentimental feelings about.

You will clap and cheer when Precious Child buys her very first car and helps to pay for it.

You'll survive your Precious Child's Orientation Day at college and moving into the dorm. You will escort her to her first classroom, although class won't start for another day. You will not cry. It feels a whole lot like the first day of kindergarten.

You will survive Year Number 21. Last year of college and on to grad school. You will not wonder where the time has gone. It's all right there. Oh, by the way, Precious Child's major is PSYCHO-logy.